Sunday, 30 March 2014

Mother's Day

'There is no undertaking more challenging, no responsibility more awesome than that of being a mother' President Gerald R. Ford

Ah, Mother's Day! Been having a little browse on Pinterest and just fell in love with some of these sayings, which all seem to ring so true.
'I won't always cry Mummy,
When you leave the room,
and my supermarket tantrums,
Will end too soon.
I won't always wake, Mummy
For cuddles in the night,
& one day you'll miss,
Having a chocolate face to wipe.
You won't always wake to find my foot,
Is kicking you out of bed,
Or find me sideways on your pillow,
Where you want to lay your head.
You won't always have to carry me in from the car,
Or piggy back me down the road,
When my little legs can't walk that far.
So cherish every cuddle,
Remember them all,
Because one day,Mummy,
I won't be this small.'
'I never pulled over the car just to look at horses,
I never was willing to give someone else my last bite,
I never planned on handling someone else's boogers,
I never listened to a song 50 times in a row,
I never found rocks in my dryer,
I never had the power to heal a wound with my kiss......
until you.'
Another saying stood out for me...
'A Mum
is like a
Only in hot
do you realise
how strong she is.'
Before the boys came along, I could never have imagined how rewarding, yet how hard it is to be a Mum. The last few weeks have been quite up and down for me. When Joel was diagnosed last April I was so strong. I knew there was something wrong with him, and in a way it was almost a relief to be told that yes, there was something seriously wrong, as it meant I didn't have to keep searching for answers, which I had spent months previously doing.
After his surgery I had to be strong to get him back up on his feet again, to play it all down when things hurt or when he questioned the scar along his hairline. To protect him when he was playing..always watching.
I had to be strong throughout his scans, helping to play down the general anaesthetics. Making fun and games of things which are definately not fun. It's actually really hard to keep pretending that your boy is a super fast racing car driver whilst watching him writhe around as the gas finally takes over and makes him pass out.
It's been hard, and throughout it all I know I've been strong. I didn't shed many tears between April and December. But now.. I don't feel so strong. It's hit me, since coming home, just what we've been through. And yes, the tears have started flowing.
If only I could just breeze through it like my little boy.

 Joel's Mother's Day gift to me. Beautiful. He has the best smile in the world.


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